Mar
3
How To Be More Tolerant Of Other People
Filed Under Relationships | 1 Comment
With all that’s been talked about in getting along with other people, being tolerant is perhaps one of the most important attributes. It allows us to take advantage of people’s differences and accomplish things that aren’t possible by each person alone. It helps us see new ways of looking at things and grow and expand as a person!
With that in mind, here’s a few ways to help yourself be more tolerant:
Resist The Impulse To Reject Things You Don’t Understand
You start talking to a guy and he seems to be saying something that makes no sense. Naturally, you think, “Man, that guy is weird!” or if you’ve known this person for a while, “Have no idea what he’s talking about!” As a result, you probably start explaining your own point of view or just stop listening to him altogether. After all, he’s just talking gibberish right?
In these cases, it’s so easy to just dismiss the other person’s input. It preserves our thinking patterns and requires very little effort on our part. We won’t have to have a headache and rewire our brains!
However, it also doesn’t allow us to grow in any way. Without challenging our thought processes, we are doomed to have the same thought processes forever!
Life becomes mundane in that case as we think we know everything. Because we reject other people’s perspectives, they have no incentive to try to help us grow, and we stagnate. Because there’s nothing for us to learn, the world becomes a pretty predictable and boring place. We get stuck in the same thought pattern spirals over and over again, hating anything that’s different or doesn’t conform to our expectations.
This makes us a very childish and volatile person. We want everything done our way because we believe our way is the right way. As a result, we forego opportunities to improve our way and become alarmed when things don’t “happen like they’re supposed to”.
So next time this urge happens, maybe it’s a good time to think, “Hmmm… here’s an opportunity to increase my awareness and expand myself!”
Try To Understand The Other Person’s Point Of View
Once we resist the urge to reject the other person’s point of view outright, it’s time to really try to understand his perspective. After all, our purpose here is to grow as a person, so it makes sense to seek out more information on the subject we don’t understand.
We can start by holding back our thoughts of disagreement and try to really listen to what the other person is saying. We’ll keep asking him questions until we understand precisely what he is trying to communicate and why he thinks the way he does.
This accomplishes two important things. First, we start to learn about the person and the context from which he is speaking. Once we can relate some of our experiences to that context, then the things that person does will start to make much more sense. Once it makes more sense, we can evaluate whether it applies to the situation at hand and use that extra information to make a better decision than we could have otherwise. After all, if we have no idea what the other person is saying, how can we disagree with it?
Second, the other person can feel that you are [[genuinely interested]] in him (because you are!) By giving him the feeling of being understood, he is now much more open to trying to understand your perspective. Once you understand and feel understood, well, what’s there not to like?
Let’s All Be Friends
When it comes down to it, we’re all here because of our [[desire to exist]]. Since the other person exists, he probably knows a thing or two about staying alive too. So how bad can it really be? As long as he’s not negatively impacting your existence in a significant way, why not just accept him and be okay with it? Besides, who knows, he might be able to help you down the line!
Also, we’re only here for maybe 80 years or so. Do you really want to spend that time hating someone?
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You hit the nail on the head with this one, pretty much canceling out my criticism of your “genuine interest” post. Good stuff!