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In Think And Grow Rich, Napolean Hill had listed sex as the most important out of all the human emotions. This had always confused me a lot, as love would seem like a more important one. Love allows you to want to give to others and make them happier. Love allows you to become selfless and work for the common good of humanity. Isn’t that more important than just sex? It seemed like a far more noble emotion!
As I thought about this, I am reminded of something my girlfriend had said a while back: “When you only want something, you can live without it. When you absolutely need something, you begin to change yourself to make it work.” And I realized – that is exactly what’s so wonderful about sex!
Every day, we are reminded of this need as we get turned on by various stimuli. And it is a need. We are biologically programmed to want it. We need it to create babies. We need it to get a real sense of closeness. Anyone who hasn’t experienced it before they die would probably have at least a strong curiosity as to what it would’ve been like! In fact, the human race need to have sex in order to survive!
So why did nature build this innate need into us? Wouldn’t it be easier to propagate the race if we could just reproduce on our own? Why do we have to go through this hassle just to survive?
As I sought an answer to this question, my mind drifted to memories of myself a few years ago. I was nearing the end of college, working hard in hopes of finding a good job. Most of my time was spent in a computer lab plugging away on various projects. I loved my work and the people I was doing it for. However, when things didn’t go my way and I got angry, I simply stopped talking to the people causing the anger – permanently. My position required no real need for other people, so this worked just fine. There was no real desire to consider their feelings or what they wanted.
Fast forward a year when my desire for sex and reproduction took over. I wanted to date people and get to know them better. All of a sudden, getting angry and complaining didn’t get me what I want anymore. “Hey!” I suddenly realized, “People don’t like to talk to people who get angry and complain to them all the time!” Then slowly, I started on the path of learning about human relations.
And that is exactly what sex does! It drives you to start understanding the perspectives of other people. Because there is something you want badly that somebody else has, you are forced to listen to what they want! You are obligated to try to understand their perspective. You have to give other people an incentive to give you want you want, and you can only do that by learning about what they want!
If we were all asexual beings, there would be no need for other people. There would be no driving force for people to cooperate and work together! We can just go about our day never understanding the ways we can help each other. It is no wonder that Napolean Hill claims sex to be the most important emotion! As we learn about the opposite sex, we learn more about people in general. We learn that people are different, and then learn to appreciate those differences. We learn that two people together can be greater than the sum of their parts!
Because of this, we can see why Hill would think sex is a much more important emotion than love. Sure, love allows you contribute positively to society, but only sex gives you the desire to learn about the other person. It makes you learn about what you should be giving, and forces you to adapt to fill that role. With only love, you might give things a shot, but at the end of the day, you don’t have to give everything you have to make it work. And giving everything you have is precisely what tends to make human relationships work well!
It’s a very amazing system that nature has created! We need sex to reproduce and survive as a species. Sex forces us to start considering other people’s perspectives. Those who are unable to do that are people who will be unable to find a mate! It’s almost like a rite of passage that says, “Only people who understand other people past a sufficient level has the right to continue existing (through their children)”.
In effect, sex is nature’s way of saying, “Work together! Or Die!”
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