Jun
15
How to Find Out What You Really Want
Filed Under Blogroll, Motivation & Purpose |
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As INTJs, we love to build things and increase efficiency. However, why do we want to do these things? This is of course, related to what our perception of the meaning of life.
Let’s take a look at our history to see how things got to this point. At one point, we can assume that there were two types of things that existed - things that want to exist, and things that don’t. Of course, the things that don’t want to exist stopped existing before long, and the things that wanted to exist continued to exist. We’re descendants of things that want to continue to exist, and that’s why we exist today.
So what does that mean for us? It means that we are built to exist! Every single person you see alive has chosen to be alive. These people have the option of committing suicide, but they choose not to do it. Accepting that we do want to exist, we can see that we are provided with various tools to facilitate that particular goal. I would argue that all of these tools are different forms of emotions:
Instincts - Keeps you away from things that have a decent chance of instantly destroying you. For example, when you touch a fire, or jerk away from some sort of monster trying to eat you. This is kind of a fast trigger reaction for emotions. You feel a special type of pain, so you are programmed to jerk away from that type of pain instantly.
Logic - This is like of like the opposite of instinct. It’s a slow emotion. It plans for how you will feel later, rather than now. It tells you what kind of emotion you would feel if some sequence of events happened.
While it is probably shocking to hear an INTJ say this (I was shocked myself when I came to this conclusion) - it looks to me like all motivation is emotionally based. All logic and thinking gives you is a series of if this and this, then this and this, but so what? That tells you nothing about why you should do that specific thing. This can be easily demonstrated with the existence loop: Pick anything you’d like to do, ask why you should do that thing. You’ll get the answer, “I do y because of x”. Then ask, “why do x?” Continue this process and logic will inevitably fail you because it’s a recursive loop with no base case.
When you want something, you desire it - that is a feeling. So to tell what you really want, you can just visualize the finished product of each item on your to do list, and see how you feel about it. Make sure you visualize the exact finished product of the task, what you would do with it, how people would react to it, so you get the full picture. Once you find something that you feel absolutely certain you want, then don’t let anything stop you.
For me personally, I get extremely excited by new ways of making money and new ideas. Both of these things can keep me up for 72 hours without sleep and I wouldn’t care the least bit. My feelings are also exceptionally positive when thinking about being a good father, and becoming one of the richest people in the world who solves some of the world’s most impossible problems. Deep down inside, I know that’s what I want and that I’m capable of accomplishing them. Even if I die, I would know that my life has been worth living. Feel that way about something, and you’ll know that’s what you want!
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[...] or they’re not sure whether they want to do the task. It’s a form of indecision. Simply decide whether you really want to do it, and then do it or drop it off the [...]
I don’t know if you can specifically classify everything into two domains of items that exist and items that do not exist. Because “rational” thought and emotion are still subjectively pieced together elements that construct our own personal experience; and the mind is seemingly in between both domains.
Much of the information we percieve is ambiguous and is experienced and influenced according to your current affect. Much of the time we do not even realize the motivation behind our underlying emotions; because music and the weather, for instance, can have large effects on the memory and judgments of individuals.
The very act of intuiting and rationalizing cannot be classified into those two domains you described.
Hmm, I think this might be a difference in terminology. I completely agree that thought and emotion are subjectively pieced together to form your experience. However, by “item”, I mean pretty much everything - the thought, the emotion, the blend, etc. and is not relegated to some physical object. If you are intuiting and rationalizing, then something is going on, and that “something” is what the word “item” refers to.
I partially agree with your statement that we often do not realize the motivations underlying our emotions. I interpret that to mean that you can’t always come up with a logical justification to why exactly you feel the way that you do. However, that was exactly my point - any logical explanation of the “motivation” for the emotion only exist because of the existence of the emotion. Logic works more in the way of, “if I do x, I will feel y later”. Logic is used mainly to reach some conclusion, but emotions are the main thing keeping us from just killing ourselves.
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i think that this article will be veyr use full to people living in sri lanka be cause they just do any thing for the sake of doing.so if they could find out what exaxly they want to achive then they can very ambitously work towards it and be what they want.
thank you
jayanaka
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For me personally, I get extremely excited by new ways of making money and new ideas. Both of these things can keep me up for 72 hours without sleep and I wouldn’t care the least bit. My feelings are also exceptionally positive when thinking about being a good father, and becoming one of the richest people in the world who solves some of the world’s most impossible problems. Deep down inside, I know that’s what I want and that I’m capable of accomplishing them. Even if I die, I would know that my life has been worth living. Feel that way about something, and you’ll know that’s what you want!
I think of things that I would like to have or experience, but I lack the feeling necessary to motivate me to obtain those things. I feel it is because I am dangerously satisfied but unsatisfied at the same time. I say I want things, but my actions do not reflect that. Sometimes I feel that there is something wrong with me. I used to have that fire and desire to reach my goals. Now. I feel like my fire has been blown out. I try to bring the fire back, but fail every time. Money does not motivate me and neither does material things. I have so much life in me, but have difficulty manifesting from the inside out. Does anyone else feel like this?
Shanice: I feel exactly the same. I feel paralyzed - there is incredible energy inside me, waiting to be unleashed. When I DO get passionate about something (very seldom these days), I give it my all and am often astonished myself.
However, most of the time, I have incredible difficulty getting started. It is like very strong inertia that is virtually impossible to overcome. It’s aweful and it made me very depressed and demotivated over the years!
Wow, I’ve been reading alot of how to get over hart breaks online. U r seriously one smart dudder. Thanks so much. You actully saved someones life today. Me
Your blog is just great. Your ideas are very inspiring
I think somehow along life for a lot of people the feeling of what they really like doing gets lost.
It could be that that life takes us to do what gives money to live but not necesarely because we like doing what makes money. Over the years after so long doing what we have to do we totally loose the sense of what we really like doing.
this article has been of little help and i get this strong feeling you dont believe in God. unfortunate if thats true, but i pray that you reach your goals with ease and relaize that theres a bigger picture in reality than just this life.
im still trying to find out what i truly like to do, although im taking a preatty lax approach so thats not probably a good thing. Becasue u cant wait for life to start, u have to initiate it and enjoy the ride
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Put as document this writting part
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what you said was so right! i’m glad i found your post, i think my life is going to be happier from now on! thanks
ps. keep writing more please!
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I’m not sure if this would be helpful but I can think of at least twelve ways of working out what you really want. And they include both logic and senses. Yes, I’m pimping my own book here but it may be of some help http://www.facebook.com/pages/First-Know-What-You-Want/172632919458480?sk=wall or http://www.firstknowwhatyouwant.com
Andrew
I understand the suggestions from this great article. I understand what I want but am trying to determine if those wants are worthy of pursuit. If I can pick out new worth wants then I can create those feeling and desired pathways. How were you able to settle on existence as your main goal. I admire your choice but it seems as if one can pick any random idea and use it as their purpose and it will serve them well if they follow your advice. Perhaps I just need to fully appreciate the fact that no one will validate my existence in the way I am trying to have it validated. There are many questions we are not able to know at this point of our existence. I probably only care about this because I want to avoid negative feelings about being wrong. I decided as a child to use it as a fundamental pillar of my thinking and here I type my fears away.
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