Jul
23
How To Get Over a Guy / Girl
Filed Under Relationships | 21 Comments
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Have you just broken up with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Have you just gone on a date and wonder why he/she never calls you back? Do you feel sad and lonely and just sit there not knowing what to do? It’s happened to the best of us. If there was only a way to fix this problem, so you don’t have to feel this way. Well, there is!
Do me a favor, sit down, relax, drink a glass of water, and think of a sandwich. No, seriously, bare with me here. Think of a nice juicy sandwich. What’s your favorite kind? Turkey? Bologna? Maybe with some nice toppings. There’s so many kinds. Tomatoes, onions, lettuce, cucumber. Type your 10 favorite types of sandwiches in the boxes below. You must list them alphabetically.
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Good. Now, come up with 25 pizza toppings, and arrange them alphabetically in the boxes below. You can’t skip this because there will be a validation button at the bottom that checks whether you’ve done it correctly. It’ll be worth it though, because after you do this correctly, you’ll know how to get over your guy/girl:
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The bottom rest of this article will only make sense after you’ve pressed the reset button and it checks that you’ve done it correctly.
Great! Did you see the message appear? Um, right.
Now, tell me, how are you feeling? A little annoyed? Kind of like wtf was all that crap for? Ok, good. Now you just have to type in 100 different types of fruit alphabetically below:
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Ok, just kidding lol. Come on, you’ve got to laugh at that (and if you didn’t do the above exercises, then damn you, you lazy bum!) How do you feel now? More annoyed? Slightly amused?
Notice though that while you’re annoyed or amused, you’re feeling slightly less hurt. For the last few minutes, you weren’t obsessed with the guy/girl were you? Maybe you were thinking about how stupid I am, or how this is kind of funny. Either way, you weren’t thinking about the guy or girl you want to get over.
I’m assuming at this point that the breakup has already occured, or you’ve reached some sort of decision to end the relationship. If you’re still deciding, then read How To Stop Hurt Feelings From Dating. Since you’ve already made your decision, your main job is to cut that person out of your life. Their existence in your reality is mainly dependent on how much you think of them. Whether you’re thinking of the good times, the bad times, or how you’ll interact with him/her in the future, you’re increasing his/her existence in your reality. How can you get over someone if they exist more and more in your reality?
To solve this problem, you need to stop thinking of the other person. Find something that you are passionate about, and do that. What’s the point of dwelling on something that you’ve already decided? That’s in the past! Focus on the future. If you’re having trouble finding something you’re passionate about, see How To Find Out What You Really Want.
In short, just pretend that he/she doesn’t exist, and he/she won’t!
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Ha Ha… very funny and very true! Getting over a relationship is very simple to do. It’s not rocket science, but it is not an easy thing to do. We like to hold on to our emotions and our feelings of loss as it still connects us to that person. Even though they are no longer in our lives it makes them relevant again. Like any addiction once you make the decision to move on mentally you will and it won’t seem like a big deal or much of an effort. The key is to stop analyzing it and get out of your own head.
this was just genious! haha I enjoyed it a lot and it was right! I didnt think of the guy once!!
I don’t believe I will ever be able to get a certain person out of my head. She was the girl I most wanted to marry. We “cliqued” nearly perfectly. I think I’ll always miss her. I think I’ll always wonder how she is doing. I truly thought she was “the one.” I’m almost 40 years old, and I doubt I’ll ever find another that made me feel the way she has when we were together. I’ve had plenty of experience with relationships, but this time…. the hurt won’t stop, no matter how “busy” I stay, or how much I try to think of other things. Time might heal a little bit in my case, but there is no simple solution to make me feel any better or to forget her. That’s just the way it is.
okay me + my boy friend broke up . i loved him . i still do . i lied to him one time & he wasnt willing to forgive me ? i see him out with all these girls and im with guys and i think about him like crazy what do i do ?
@Jim: That is a very hard situation to deal with, since you obviously respect & admire her greatly. However, it sounds like she’s not in your life anymore, but you don’t want to move on. Yup, definiately no simple solution hehe. It seems like you have three options, seeing that you haven’t decided to move on:
1) Try to get it resolved and talk to that girl. Write her a letter or go see her and tell her how you feel, since I think part of it is that you don’t want to forget her (and for good reason). Hopefully, that’ll allow you some resolution so that you can move on.
2) Resolve it within yourself so that you’re okay with moving on.
3) Just leave it the way it is. There’s nothing wrong with never moving on – you can use that as a type of motivation to do better in your life and accomplish something great!
@tay: It’s a question of what you want. Do you see him as potential husband material? Do you see him as a good sex partner? What you do depends on what your goal with him is.
WOW…
that really helped me…
in the beginning..
i was crying my eyes out
and listening to sappy love songs
from the 80′s..
and its not even from my era!
but after this i stopped crying and
i feel so much better…
i really thought that i loved this guy and
then he cheated on me…
LOSER!!!
o and by the way it took me 20 minutes to think of 25 pizza toppings…
Thanks!
♥ always,
Haley
Its been 2 months.. 2 months from hell for sure.
My boyfriend left me because he couldnt handle the fighting.. which didnt happen alot… i mean every couple fights!!
Anyways.. theres not a second in the day that i dont think of him… i tried the whole addiction thing and it did nothing.. im more then addicted to him.. its love.. and it wont go awat..
Hey I really didn’t even date the girl and I can’t seem to get over her. We met while i was out during one of my friends birthdays. It wasn’t like love at first sight or anything there was just something there. Well I found out a little later that she lived 5 hours away but I liked her as a person so we continued talking on the phone. We talked for a month and decided to meet and hang out again we hit it off we had an awesome time. The feelings for each other where all out of the bag at this point other than one small problem. She dated a guy before me for 6 years and she told me she was not sure if she was over him. Well just recently I got a call she wants to try to work things out with her ex.
I should be able to get over this but I can’t she seemed so right to me. Now I am 24 I have dated a few girls before I have had a few one night stands. But I have never felt this way for a girl before. I know someone is going to say infatuation but it is not I swear. I know she probably is not sitting up thinking of me and I have tried making myself bitter towards her but I can’t. I need help big time!
i really love this girl and we were together along time and she split with me and she wants alone time i want her back but i dunno what to do i miss her like crazy
i was with this guy for 10 months and we did fight alot, but one time i saw him with his arms around another girl. i should have broken up with him right then and there, but me, being as loving for him as i was, didnt want to lose him. so we went out still and one day he told me that girls at work flirt with him. of course that just got me even more mad. so then i started worrying about what he was doing when he was out with his friends and one day when i was with him, i was worried about the girl situation, and cried to him. the next day, i was sick and didnt get to hang out with him and then when i saw him the day after that, i was crying about the same damn thing, because i had a big feeling i was somehow right, that he was going to his friend’s houses and was seeing girls there. later that night, he told me he needed to take a break, and not to talk to him. of course with me, i still called him and he broke up with me and told me that the day when i was sick, he was at his friends house and a girl was there and SHE KISSED HIM. so what i thought, was right.
so i didnt call him for a few days and i started to move on, when he called me and we had a pretty good conversation and he told me he loved me. then he said he would call me later, and went to his friend’s house then to basketball practice. later, he called me and told me how he didnt wanna play both of us, me and the girl that kissed him and he said she wanted to go out with him… i was pretty dumbfounded to why he would say something like that. he said he couldnt go out with me, so then i saw him the next day and we signed out of classes and met up. he kissed me, hugged me, and held my hand and when i looked into his eyes, there was this connection and i told him to look at me and tell me he didnt wanna be with me. of course he couldnt. i asked him why we werent going back out and he said it was because the day before, after he told me he loved me, he kissed another girl. of course i was devastated, and i gave him the middle finger. so things just got worse. me and my friend were drinking and got drunk and called and left him a message a few days later. so then he called me a fucking idiot on the phone and had the girl that kissed him call me and make me upset. i hung up and moved on. so this whole story is just trying to tell people that although you may have loved someone with your whole heart, they may not always be the right one for you, and you need to move on. it is extremely hard, and i have dealt with it, but if you just get on with your life, and be happy and ignore if they do something hurtful to you, you will find someone even better. thank you for listening to me, and for everyone who takes my advice- when one door shuts, another always opens.
is it okay if I beat him now??
@Haley: Haha, I’m glad it helped!
@Tiff: Hmmm, it’ll pass eventually if you it to. Just have to decide in your head to cut him out and reaaaallllyy focus on what you want.
@Chance: Well, it seems to me like you’re not sure what you want here. Your options are 1)Let her go 2)Try to get closer to her despite her boyfriend 3)Be a normal friend.
It sounds like you won’t be able to handle 3, so you’re trying 1. She’s so special to you though it seems, as you haven’t met anyone like her. The question is, do you want her as a close friend? If so, then just try to get to know her (incompatibilities on a non romantic front might develop anyway). Her relationship with you is separate from that of her boyfriend. Hey, if you two enjoy talking, then talk. If you’re going to stop talking to her because she has a boyfriend, then her value to you isn’t all that high, so it wouldn’t be really worth pursuing.
@justin: Hmmm… well… nothing you can really do if she wants to be alone. Let her be alone, and remind her you want to be with her like once every week or two. If she’s not worth waiting for, then move on.
@Meg: Who, me?! Ahhhhhhhhh lol!!
As Pathetic as it sounds I met this girl a month ago and she said that she had feelings for me and that she liked me, but it first started off her ex boyfriend was a good friend of mine who I found out she still had feelings for him but I let that slide thinking I could surpass that and get her to forget. Secondly she then tried hanging out with a friend of mine who she wanted to have a one night stand with during the period of time I was talking to her then she apoloized and me being the stupid kid I am I forgave her but tonight was the last straw. She was at her friends surpise birthday party and she invited me to go so i drove over there and i walk in and she gives me a kiss then goes and hangs with her friends.. I decide to leave because the party was a little to girly for my taste so as im in my car a friend of mine calls me to inform me that she sitting on some guys lap and kissing him for the last 30 mins so I called her and she some how flipped it on me and made me feel like i was the person who did something wrong.. and after all this im still the one who likes her and trying to get back with her after she still does these things and her excuse continues to be that she is single and I dont own her.. Does any one have any suggestions plz email me calise91@yahoo.com
Well i started dating this guy a few months a go.. if that. Everything was going extremley well, Id always go over to his place on the weekends and hangout with him. I had never really had a real boyfriend before and well a month or so after dating we had sex. He seemed like he always wanted to see me, wed go out and see movies or go out somewhere. I was getting ready to go over to his house one night when I showed up he brought me to his room and told me we needed to talk, so I went into his room and he told me that he was moving.. to another province. He explained that he needed to get his life in order and then asked about trying the long distant relationship. I was pretty confused and upset and we didnt really say anything for a while then he kept asking if he could take me home. Then he told me he didnt think it was going to work and that it was to hard so i started to cry, which isnt like me at all. I told him that we could try it out and that wed visit eachother also that i would move out there after graduation since hes a year older. we spent his last week here and i was heart broken when he left. He calls every now and then and sometimes i call him, we also communicate over the computer but its really hard and i dont think he feels the same way i do about him. I told him i thought i loved him and he said yeah i feel the same.. i have no idea what that means?? but im wondering if i should move on.. or if hes actually worth the money and time to visit him and the wait till schools over.
I’ve been reading these posts and I don’t mean to be rude, but some posters need to get a grip on reality. Everyone and I mean everyone has had there heart broken, bruised and battered more than a couple of times. You need to take the lessons from these experiences and move forward. Feelings are nothing more than a bio-chemical addiction that we have cultivated over time. Until you cut that person out of your life you will never get over them. I know its hard not to wonder what they are up to, but honestly what good does that do? All it does it reinforce those feelings of emptiness and sadness; the key is to grieve for a reasonable time and then move on.
I have a few ideas of getting over KC. Like throw his anime collection out a 100th story window. Or slugging him! He says he likes me, flirts with me, and doesn’t stop talking long enough to bloody well kiss! My best guy friend is constantly calling because he doesn’t get why I’m mad at him! And he’s constantly getting my voicemail for a month or two!! He’s enough to drive a girl to drink!
My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years. I am 21 and he is 23. He is in the Navy and so that mean he travels a lot. Anyways, we live about two hours away from one another, so the weekends are what we have. Well, my problem started back in August he bought e a plane ticket to go to his parents house…I have meet them a few times prior. Anyways, I found dirty text pictures in is phone of another women. I immediately make him erase them and had him tell her to stop sending him this obscene texts. Well, he bought a car while we was in PA, so we drove the car back down to FL. I had taken a week and a half off of work so I could be with him longer, but he was pushing me to go home. I was very upset, but it was always his way or the highway. Anyways when I got home he would not return my phone calls, my text, or my emails until he saw fit. That made my suspicion grow. I found out he had a my space account and I found that he had a girl on there which I have never met. Long story short…he cheated on me with her and has different women calling him. Guys, this was the man that promised me forever. I wake up every morning hurt and I always feel like I want to vomit. I just keep in the back of my head that there will come a time when Karma will turn the tables. He will get his. I just hope I am lucky enough to be around to see it. if anyone wants to talk my email is kimberlyreed2006@yahoo.com
hi, i met i guy 4 months ago. We started flirting, which turned into texting. We both decided we just wanted fun, especially with him only being split up from his 10 year marriage. I knew it was rebound on his behalf, thats why i didn’t want a relationship. So everything was going amazing, untill we both realised we actually were in a relationship. I think it scared him. Anyway he started working all the time an i got to see him for about an hour 2 hours a week. I knew something had changed. So i asked him he said no he was just stressed. The time came where i felt i needed to ask again and thats when it all happened. He took me for a meal and explained that he didn’t THINK he wanted to be in a relationship. He came up wi the most silly excuses like its not you its me ‘my head is all over the place. Anyway we decide to have a break this was after 3 months of being together. 4 days later i couldn’t handle not knowing where i stood. So i asked him to come to my house an we both decided to leave it and just be friends. Since then iv never wanted someone so bad. Im 19 and never thought i could feel this way about someone he’s the first thing and last thing i think about before an after sleep. I want to know how he is all the time. We do still talk but as soon as i start to talk about how i feel he doesn’t reply. I really want to get over this guy i wish i could hate him but he’s never done no wrong. I really dont know what to do. Everyone keeps saying you’ll be ok everybody feels like this and i know they do but why? After all at first i didn’t even want to be with him just wanted fun. Somebody please help. I dont know where to turn. E-mail me my addy is e160888@hotmail.co.uk x
@Iana: It sounds like you two are in love with each other. When he said that, he very likely has the same giddy “in love” feeling that you do. However, he has to move (from circumstances that seem like it’s out of his control – school?). When he says it’s hard, he is refering to the “missing you urges”. He wants to hug you and you want to be in his arms, but because you are apart, neither of you can get that satisfaction. It sounds like he misses you a lot though. As to what to do, that’s always up to you.
@elesha: Hmmmm, it sounds like this guy is significant older than you, so the chances of you two getting married is really low anyway, so this was bound to happen at some point, better sooner than later right?
Since you went into this wanting to have fun, just realize that it’s been fun! There’s no official “relationship”… like as soon as you start doing something with someone, that’s a relationship. So you were looking for a “have fun together relationship”, and now that he’s stopped wanting to have fun, it’s the end of that. Just go right ahead and do some other things! Life is full of lots of fun stuff to do
Closing comments. For anyone who has a question or comment, please drop by the thread in the forum!
http://www.whatithinkabout.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2