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Through my recent experiences in A Falling In Love Experience and feedback from the girl I’m in love with, we’ve documented a few of the urges that occur as a result of being in love.

Since this is a fairly common experience that everyone goes through at one point or another, one would assume that the reasoning for these urges would be similar for other people as well.

So far, I’ve observed three categories of urges:

Day Urges

These urges occur throughout the day, growing stronger the greater the amount of time that the two people involved don’t interact. It’s very much like an addiction, with this feeling being a “withdrawal pain” from not being able to talk to the other person. Symptoms include a rapidly increased heart rate (for us, it ranges between 90-110), constantly thoughts about the other person, and a slightly tense feeling in your stomach area.

This urge is really more of a “I miss you” feeling, which goes away if you have a satisfying conversation. Naturally, it’s probably there to encourage you to interact with the object of your interest, so that a deeper understanding between the two of you can be reached. It also probably keeps two people safe in the primitive times, checking in often to make sure that they haven’t been hit by eaten by a dinosaur or something.

In general, it says, “Be together and build a connection”.

Pre-sleep Urges

This is a similar feeling to the day urges and sometimes both of these occur at the same time. However, it is a distinctly different feeling in that just talking about things isn’t really enough to appease it. There is a strong desire for someone to be in our embrace when we fall asleep. It’s not a sexual urge, but rather just a desire for a tender moment and the security of knowing someone is next to you.

This seems like a very natural continuation of the day urges. People connect during the day and then huddle together during the night, keeping them safe while they sleep. It’s interesting in that it’s not sexual in nature, so it’s more for security purposes. If a big tiger comes or something, they can wake each other up and run away together.

This one seems to say, “Be together when you’re both vulnerable”.

Wake Up Urges

In the morning, there are two feelings occurring randomly that seem to result.

In the first case, you awake from a dream state trying to hug the person you love. It is accompanied by a very strong in love feeling and a very strong desire for the other person to be in your arms. In the other case, you wake up but only think of your partner a little bit later. In that case, the in love feeling is still there, but you just want to look at him/her sleep next to you without waking him/her up. Just seeing him/her sleep peacefully gives you peace of mind.

Both of these urges seem to make a lot of sense as well. Since you both fell asleep together for the purposes of protecting each other, it makes sense to wake up wondering if the person is still there. In one case, you want to physicall feel that the person is still there while in the other, you’re just checking that yup, they’re still asleep next to you.

Nature seems to be telling us, “Make sure your partner’s still alive!”

So far, these have been the strong urges I (and the girl I like) have had through this falling in love experience. They seem to be quite natural and makes a lot of sense.

We shall see if the next month or two brings anything new!

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3 Responses to “The Different Types of In Love Urges”

  1. tori on April 9th, 2009 3:02 pm

    everything about that is true but could u maybe make an article on how to stop those urges

  2. Gerard Howard III on August 25th, 2009 10:57 pm

    Why would you want to stop those urges? They’re so completely natural and beautiful in so many ways that stopping them would be a crime.

  3. G on April 15th, 2010 8:59 am

    Yes these urges are beautiful when you are in a relationship…but not so much when you are trying to get over someone