Sep
7
The End Of Relationships
Filed Under Entrepreneurship, The Bigger Perspective, Health, Relationships, Conciousness, Career | Leave a Comment
In How To Keep A Healthy Relationship, we talked about how to back away from areas of incompatibility when seeking out more common ground. As long as the two people still have the original areas of compatibility, then their relationship can continue as it always has. However, what if one or both people are no longer interested in the original areas of compatibility?
For example, let’s say two people meet at a dance class. They become dance partners and win a couple of competitions. However, one of the people gets bored of dancing and decides to stop. In this case, there is only a thin area of compatibility to return to. There is always the basic “I am a human being and you are a human being so we’ll say hi to each other” area, but that is relatively weak. There is also the “we had an experience together once” area, which can be okay depending on the experience in question. However, beyond saying a cursory hello and reminiscing about the past from time to time, there is really nothing else the two people can do together anymore. Their major area of compatibility - dancing, no longer exists.
This is why developing a life purpose is a very important factor in establishing long term relationships. When you have a life long purpose, then you can at least guarentee that your interest isn’t going to change. If you dedicate your life to curing diseases, that’s not a thing that will go away in your life time. There will always be some strange medical phenomenon for you to investigate. Now if you meet someone else equally interested in solving medical problems, then that common interest will always remain. No matter how incompatible you are in other areas, you will always be interested if your partner has some news about new medical breakthroughs or ideas about how to cure a certain disease. No matter how bad other parts of your life get, this would act as a kind of “sanctuary” that you can always return the relationship to.
This doesn’t mean that you should avoid short term relationships however. There are many cases where short term relationships are necessary. For example, two people are standing below a wall but neither of them is tall enough to scale it alone. By having one person give a boost and the other person pulling the first person up, both people can get on the other side of the wall. This is a very mutually beneficial relationship, but beyond the momentary needs of climbing the wall, there is nothing to hold the two people together. If they have nothing else in common, they’ll have nothing more than a memory of climbing a wall to keep them together.
Another more realistic example would be some friends you had back when you were little. As you grew up, you found that you had differing interests and either one or both of you no longer wanted to “play” together. It could even be as simple as two people who met on a hike and had a conversation to alleviate boredom. These are perfectly natural situations in life that happen over and over again. You meet some people to solve some short term problems, and then you part ways. Just recognize that these relationships for what they are and move on if no other similar interests emerge. That way, you can have more time for developing the longer term relationships with people who do have long term interests in common with you.
One thing to take note is that when ending short term relationships, they should be ended on a good note that allows for future interactions. Say goodbye to the stranger you met on a hike. Give your old kindergarten friend a hug. After all, you always have the good memories that you can reminisce about. Besides, it may be that there were some areas of compatibility that the two of you did have but just wasn’t aware of. Or perhaps one or both of you may gain interest in a similar area in the future. In both of these cases, you can pursue those newly discovered common interests with a solid foundation of trust from your previous memories.
Relationships come and go in life (in fact they will definitely go as one of you will die eventually). Just appreciate them for what they are and remember the good times. After all, the sum of your life from your perspective will eventually just be your memories anyway!
If you feel that this post has been of value to you, please leave a donation to show your appreciation and allow me to bring this value to other people as well!
Ask a question or discuss this post in the personal development forum.
Related Posts
How To Gain An Edge In Business
How To Be Genuinely Interested In People
How To Find A Wife / Husband
Some Pros And Cons of Christianity
How To Pick A Good Stock
Communities, Forums, And Relationships
How to Stop Hurt Feelings From Dating
A Falling In Love Experience Part 5
A Throbbing Heart Leads To A Sleepless Night
What Seems Closed Isn’t Quite Closed
Free Personal Development Email Updates
Not sure when the next article will appear?
Why not subscribe to email updates and get articles delivered to you instead?